i told you my life was a comedy for those that are not me. tonight is an example of the terrible luck that befalls me on a daily basis.
not content to knock me about with a terrible week, life has decided to rub a little bit of mercury onto my gaping wounds. let me set the scene for you: my sister doesn't get to go out at night very often now my mum is sick (cancer, the worst kind, will fill you in another time) and i'm at uni and my niece needs babysitting. so, since i'm home this weekend, i gave up my original plans to go and see fantastic mr fox for a quiet night in watching the x-factor with said child, allowing mum to go to bed and my sister a night off.
it should have been simple: child falls asleep on couch, child is woken up, child sent to bathroom, child goes to bed, pilgrim goes to watch zoolander on film4.
this is how my night decided to pan out instead: child falls asleep on couch, child will not be woken up, mother is called from bed to help, child is woken up, and sulkily heads upstairs, child refuses to visit bathroom, child lays on the stairs and cries, child vomits all over stairs, pilgrim has to clear it up.
normally my mum is the one who deals with this sort of thing, but as she's poorly she can't afford to pick up any germs from child chunder, so gloves on, disinfectant in hand, i stepped up. it took my sister fourty mins to get back. taxis. apparently.
anyway. this is how i spend my saturdays now. scrubbing the stairs whilst breathing through my mouth lest i gag myself of the stank of kidsick that is now firmly lodged in the carpet just outside my bedroom, despite the amount of disinfectant, which is currently soaking the unwary feet of those who forget that here there be vomit.
in other news, i hate those john and edward dudes. but not as much as i hate louis walsh. he can kiss my sick-soaked stairs.
pilgrim out
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